Despairing, but not of Rage

numbness, because of pain
of too much, has driven me insane

not knowing when,
or how to lift the next page
unreceptive at the moment
despairing, but not of rage

appearing to be nonchalant
to conceal the dismay
from the anguish and resentment
i have not felt in any way

still wishful as i always were,
hoping for your return
of your once, such perfect tenderness
your warm love, i used to call home